...not to be confused with an intruder...because i've experienced that as well. that was many years ago. our unwelcome visitor came on friday...
Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered weak and weary,
Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore,
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door.
`'Tis some visitor,' I muttered, `tapping at my chamber door-
Only this, and nothing more.'
first, let me give some back ground info.
wednesday afternoon
i'm out to lunch with my bff brittany and i get a text from my housemate lizzie that says "there is a bird stuck in our chimney and it's kinda freaking me out." i laugh a little, and by the time i'm home and see lizzie next, i've forgotten about it.
thursday afternoon
i'm watching a little tv while i eat lunch. i'm sitting on the couch and hear some odd noises coming from our chimney. i turn off the tv. i now know what lizzie is talking about. the sounds were freaking me out a little too...but no big deal. my thoughts include: hopefully the bird or whatever is stuck in there will find its way out, i hope the thing doesn't die in there and stink up our house, and will that thing shut up....i'm trying to watch a re-run of the office and drift off to sleep, i need a nap.
now we get to friday. i'm in my room and sleeping most of the day in preparation for work that night.
friday 525pm
my alarm goes off. time to get up for work. snooze.
friday 530pm
my alarm goes off. time to get up for work. snooze.
friday 535pm
my alarm goes off. time to get up for work. snooze. you get the picture. this continues for a bit.
friday 548pm
not time for the alarm. no, its a text from my housemate jennifer. it reads, "there is/was a big black bird in our kitchen so i left a trail of crackers on the floor and the back door open."
excuse me!!! now i'm out of bed. open my bedroom door, yell out jennifer's name. silence.
what?!? she's gone?! i had heard her, and what i assumed were her visiting teachers (it being the 2nd to last day of the month and all) here a little after 5pm and heard her milling about the house until moments before i awoke to her text.
um, by the way there is a big ol' nasty black bird in our house, i left some crackers, peace out, good luck with the bird. awesome. not only did i choose to sleep in, but now i have to deal with this.so yeah, jennifer has fled the scene...or the bird got to her before i could...
Presently my soul grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,
`Sir,' said I, `or Madam, truly your forgiveness I implore;
But the fact is I was napping, and so gently you came rapping,
And so faintly you came tapping, tapping at my chamber door,
That I scarce was sure I heard you' - here I opened wide the door; -
Darkness there, and nothing more.
Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there wondering,
fearing,
Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before
But the silence was unbroken, and the darkness gave no token,
And the only word there spoken was the whispered word, `Lenore!
'This I whispered, and an echo murmured back the word, `Lenore!
'Merely this and nothing more.
friday 550pm
i cautiously make my way to the front room/kitchen, fearing that any moment some bird is going to attack me. i see the crackers. see the back door open. i don't see a bird. i'm getting ready to shut the back door, thinking, ahhh good the cracker trick must have worked...and then i look up and see it, the predator starring me down with its wee beady eyes... ewwwww!!!! jennifer was right. there indeed, was a big black bird in our kitchen perched right on the front of our kitchen sink. although i was quite disgusted by it, and really needed to hurry and get to work...i still found it important to grab my camera.
it may not look that scary in the picture, but in real life...well, i guess it wasn't scary then either...just gross. ewww...so gross. there was a bird in my house and it pooped in our kitchen sink. nasty. as i neared the bird, it tried to escape through the closed window behind it. i laughed. poor bird...(or let's call him hector, as lizzie suggested we name him)...couldn't get through the glass. it think it was pretty terrified of me. so, i went outside and tapped on the glass...hector went balistic! flew all over the place and landed on the family room fan.
`Be that word our sign of parting, bird or fiend!' I shrieked upstarting-
`Get thee back into the tempest and the Night's Plutonian shore!
Leave no black plume as a token of that lie thy soul hath spoken!
Leave my loneliness unbroken! - quit the bust above my door!
Take thy beak from out my heart, and take thy form from off my door!'
it's now nearing 600pm. i really had to get ready for work. so i quickly take a shower, get dressed for work...come back to the living room and there is hector still sittin' on the fan. i wish i had thought to turn the fan on, instead, i just hit one of the blades with a magazine to get the fan to move. boy, i thought the bird when crazy the first time...hector was all over the place. flew right at me for a second. it all happened so fast, i couldn't even find him when it quieted down. turns out the bird so, turns out hector was lurking in the corner shadows of our front room... long story short (i know, nothing is short with me...i always have to include all the details...) i cornered the bird, created a barrier so that it would stay along the wall til it got to our open front door. it was then that hector finally spotted freedom,and we parted ways. fly away black bird, fly away...
And the raven, never flitting, still is sitting, still is sitting
On the pallid bust of Pallas just above my chamber door;
And his eyes have all the seeming of a demon's that is dreaming,
And the lamp-light o'er him streaming throws his shadow on the floor;
And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor
Shall be lifted -...
627pm friday
out the door for work. should have left at 0615pm. clocked in right at 0700pm. my hair was in a wet bun and i had no make-up on, but who really cares, my patients are generally old and confused and my house was hector-free...
...Nevermore
ps. the crackers used to unsuccessfully lure hector out of our house were Keebler Flipside pretzel crackers. um, kind of de-lish! if you haven't tried them, i highly recommend this unconventional snack. a twist on two great familiar tastes.
